The tears flow freely this morning as I send my son off to practice and I check in on my sweet girl as she sleeps in, oh so soundly. I let it all go as I shower and get ready for the day hoping the fancy shampoo will wash it all away. I lean on twenty minutes of meditation to soothe me. Today, I cry. I honor the dark and the light of these tears - the sadness of loss, the happiness of who is here. The judgement of others, the amazing women I have spent time with this week. The failure, the success. The knowing and the not. The darkness, the light.
Just like my Dad, I am a crier. This morning is comfortable for me - and necessary. I gather myself and although I feel the heaviness linger, I am better for the love that surrounds me, the impact I am making in this world and the ability to let the tears flow. These tears remind me that I am whole, alive and moving forward. Doing my best.
I step out before the rain to breathe in the fresh air. I take notice of a spot of daffodils straightening themselves up. I found them creeping out from under a rock the other day. We removed the rock and they are recovering from meeting a force that they needed to work around. They did not fret about being blocked from the light, they just found a way to reach for it. So today, while the clouds roll in and the rain falls, I will reach for the light in the best way I know how. A few more tears, leftover pizza, a nap and a bit of work.
And…Mom, as you read this, know that I am fine. Just being a Bird.